Tim Lebbon – horror and dark fantasy author

Every few months I love to browse through some of the search terms that have brought people to my site. Most are obvious, of course, but some are so obscure and, frankly, worrying. Can’t help laughing. Here’s a selection:

vote cocks

halloween strippers

voided herself

camping fuck

horror tits

naked ladies beer

random adventures to have in wales

tim lebbob

And my favourite (drum roll please) …

tim the tit

“From now on, ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put.”

“We are an impossibility in an impossible universe.”

Find out more.

And to stay with the Izzard theme…

“Pol Pot killed one point seven million Cambodians, died under house
arrest, well done there. Stalin killed many millions, died in his bed, aged
seventy-two, well done indeed. And the reason we let them get away with it
is they killed their own people. And we’re sort of fine with that. Hitler
killed people next door. Oh, stupid man. After a couple of years we won’t
stand for that, will we?”

Went to see Eddie Izzard last night at the Cardiff CIA.  The guy is brilliantly, beautifully insane.  Just a brief mention about his billion-mile-run for Sport Relief, then he went on to talk about ‘everything that has ever happened’.

Izzard hardly ever tells a joke, and much like a surreal Bill Hicks his humour comes from observation and protest.  Izzard’s protest is much more subtle, of course, and buried amongst discussions about speeding raptors, hungry badgers, Northern Romans, set-upon squirrels, startled Nazis, and coughing giraffes, but it’s there nonetheless.  Sometimes it’s a plea to live life without worrying Who or What is watching over us, other times it’s a dig at politics (and particular politicians).

He’s a clever, funny man.  One of my favourites among many was ‘If there’s a God, why didn’t he flick Hitler’s head off?’

And he still does love his badgers and jam.  Though rarely together.

Finally received my copy of Hellbound Hearts today, stories based on the Hellraiser universe created by the excellent Clive Barker.  Thrilled to see I’m on the cover along with Neil Gaiman, Dave McKean, Kelley Armstrong, Steve Niles, Christopher Golden and Mike Mignola, and there are loads of other stories from Conrad Wiliams, Sarah Pinborough, Mark Morris, Simon Clark, Chaz Brenchley and many others.  Can’t wait to dig in … after I’ve read King’s new monstrous tome, UNDER THE DOME.

Off to see Edie Izzard tonight!

“It was better, he thought, to fail in attempting exquisite things than to succeed in the department of the utterly contemptible.”

More about Arthur Machen …

This is just awesome …

“I don’t believe in an afterlife, so I don’t have to spend my whole life fearing hell, or fearing heaven even more. For whatever the tortures of hell, I think the boredom of heaven would be even worse.”

I’ve always steered away from ‘how to’ books.  If they’re trying to tell you ‘how to write’, their inevitable subjectivity means that they can’t possible work for everyone.  If they’re telling you ‘how to’ make a living from this business then, unless I know the writer’s name very well, there’s an obvious fault there somewhere.

When I read about BOOKLIFE by Jeff Vandermeer it didn’t seem like any other book I’d heard about before on this subject.  And because I know Jeff a little, and have great respect for his work and his intense promotional efforts, I took a chance on this one.  Glad I did.  Because Jeff’s book isn’t a ‘how to’ book at all.  If you pick this up thinking it’ll make you into a successful writer able to sell your work far and wide, you’d be wrong.  What it will do – and this is perhaps the most important thing that any non-fiction book about writing can do  – is inspire you.

I’ve had my own experiences at marketing and self promotion.  My best-selling book is the one I put most effort into marketing myself in addition to what the publisher did for it.  That points to something, doesn’t it?  But since then I’ve spent a lot less time involved in marketing and promotion of my work, mainly because I write full-time now and started thinking that I can’t make the time.

BOOKLIFE is for someone just like me. Sure, if you’re just starting out on your career it’ll help immensely, giving you tips and hints on the processes involved in book publishing and marketing.  But I think it’s best aimed at writers who have some level of success already, and the beauty of the book is that, if you read it properly (with a notebook by your side) and take from it what suits you best, I’ve no doubt at all that it’ll improve your sales, your work-life balance, your approach to your writing, and the pleasure you get out of it.

Jeff’s style is easy, precise, conversational, and his asides, where he gives examples of experiences he or his friends have had, are always relevant and insightful.  I found myself smiling in recognition at a lot of what he said (when he mentioned his wife Ann taking his router away … I often send my modem plug to work with my wife, cutting me off from internet access for the day).  And most of all, I found myself inspired.  I’m raring to go at a promotional plan for my next couple of books, and in fact I’ve already drawn one up and come up with what I think are some great ideas.

Since reading Jeff’s book, I’ve devised my own short-term and long-term plans, and gone some way to putting them into place.  I’m using my time much more efficiently.  And BOOKLIFE sits on my reference shelf, already well-thumbed and well-used.  It’s invaluable, and I recommend it without hesitation.